Friday, August 28, 2009

COMIC - File #54

So, the Joes have their hands on a suit of S.N.A.K.E. Armour and Flash's modified it to his own specs. Cobra won't be happy!

But before we see how the Snakes will respond, let's take a quick break! I've been having a lot of technical issues this week with my camera, my tripod, and my computer all deciding to make my life hell, so I shot this short strip until I can sort things out.

Besides, if I kept it until the S.N.A.K.E. Eater story was over, it'd be too late. So check out this week's comic and its sister article over on The Nail Gun. I'll explain the Transformers references in the comic's Archive entry in case you're not a big Transformers fan.

Without further ado, I give you the Supreme Commander of the Autobots, Mr. Optimus Prime. Take it away!

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Friday, August 14, 2009

COMIC - File #52: "Power & Wealth"

Welcome to Week 52 of the comic, and thanks again for the great first year!

This comic is for those who are at JoeCon, having fun... I hope!

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Q & Ages 25 & Up #8

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Once again, Monkeywrench and the gang from the HissTank.com forums had some questions on their minds. Here's this month's Q&A session!

Question #1 - Foolproof asks:
So it’s been a year and 50 issues. How do you feel about how far you’ve come? Do you feel like you’ve grown as a writer and a photographer?

1337W422102:
As a photographer, definitely. I studied photography and film in college and worked a photographer before university. Despite that, I was still able to mess up.

When I first started the comic, it wasn't a regular thing at all. It was just something fun I would do one in a while for my friends over at the Mandalorian Guilds [then the Customizers' Universe]. I was aiming for speed, so I didn't really care about framing, composition, lighting, etc. You know, important stuff like that!

Just take a look at File #01, "The Update Gambit." It's overexposed as hell, the camera angle is awful, and it's clearly shot on a desktop. You can see my mouse in the last panel, and the packaging from my Masterpiece Starscream [who would later be featured in the Plastic Gear Solid arc] is visible in a few panels. And I didn't even bother to white balance File #04 "In the Clutches of Death"! I didn't think about colour-correcting it in Photoshop, either. Crap like that wouldn't fly now.

In terms of writing, well, writing's hard. My main trouble is getting to the point! I usually just write too much and have to cut a lot, or change dialogue to be more concise. Stuff like Plastic Gear is especially guilty. I hard a hard time walking the line between source-material accuracy and comedy, and some issues would drag on and on with dialogue... Sorry about that!


Question #2 - Foolproof asks:
Do you plan on using any Rise of Cobra figures in future comics? They’re pretty nifty and well-articulated!

1337W422102:
You bet! A few of them might show up from time to time. I'm not crazy about this toy line and most of the figures that I do have are for customizing as they look so incredibly generic, but there are some gems, like Shipwreck. Sweet Poseidon, that guy is made of win, once you get rid of the gimmick-launcher and the hideous rifle.

He holds his knife in his left hand, and the grooves on the hilt match up with his fingers when the knife is held upside-down. And his firearm? A Desert Eagle, one of the most badass handguns in existence. I assumed he'd use a Glock or another sidearm that can fire underwater, but a Deagle? That's how badass The Ship is - he can use a Desert Eagle UNDERWATER. Plus, his flippers and mask strap on rather realistically, the backpack looks great, and Polly's been painted even better than her 5-pack version. I think Shipwreck's shortpacked, so if you see him, GET HIM!

I also reviewed the Cobra Party Van with Motor Viper the other day, and I like to think of the Motor Viper as Rezzy-T's cousin from Detroit. He'll find his way into the comic somehow.

Question #3 - Poptart13 asks:
Will the Space Channel 5 figures be making a reappearance? Ulala for the win!

1337W422102:
Up, down, up, down, chu-chu-chu! Ulala's had a few appearances so far. She was in the crowd during Destro's Silent Auction. We learned in File #24 that she works for CUNL News along with Dick Wanker, though they might be more than colleagues. File #33 revealed her relationship with Clutch, Pudding, and Evila. When we last saw her in File #42, Shipwreck was trying to sweep her off her feet in a bar.

She gets around, it seems, and to answer your question, we will see her again! Pudding and Evila will probably show up again, too.

Question #4 - Nekoman asks:
Personally, how do you feel about the differences between the vintage o-ring construction and the 25th? Are there ever moments when you slightly miss the o-rings?

1337W422102:
Vintage? 12" Joes had o-rings?

Just messing with you.

Do I ever miss the o-rings? Oh, heck no. What a terrible design flaw that is, to make the most crucial structural element of the product out of a malleable, easily breakable material which sags and/or breaks over time.

I had a lot of fun with them as a kid, though: twisting legs around for Hurricane Kicks and whatnot. But snapped o-rings ruined many a figure in my day, and even now, I'll go through my bins of Joes and Cobras, looking for a character for a comic and I'll find someone in half, dried-up elastic protruding from a hole in their torsos.

From a purely structural point of view, no, I don't miss the o-ring. From a nostalgia-goggles point of view, maybe a bit, but negligibly so. They were fun for Spinning Bird Kicks, but even as a kid, I was annoyed that the elastic joint couldn't keep a pose.

What I do miss is the backpack screw. Man, I HATE cracking torsos...


Question #5 - Nekoman asks:
A little idea I’ve had for a while is a comic about Duke. I know you hate him, which is why I think it could be hilarious. Especially what Snake-Eyes might do to him... What are your thoughts?

1337W422102:
Speaking of people breaking in half--!

To be perfectly honest, I don't know if I'd be able to write something good with that character. I think it'd just come off as me complaining [as usual!] or it'd be something wrong and/or not funny, like Duke being on trial for trying to do things to Scarlett.

Love his Resolute figure, though!


Question #6 - Monkeywrench asks:
Hawk was last seen as a General. Will you continue to use his General 25th figure or will you continue to use his Original 13 figure?

1337W422102:
Hawk wore his General uniform when he appeared on the late-night talk show Up Real F#$%ing Late with Fred XLII because he "felt that green fatigues wouldn't be appropriate for national television."

I think I'll keep using his Original 13 figure for when he's "at work." It has a much better arms! Besides, I haven't painted the General figure's hair blond yet, and the head seems more like Duke than Hawk to me...


Question #7 - Monkeywrench asks:
When can we expect to see Cobra Commander again?

1337W422102:
Saturday! He will star in the next comic, which I should probably say has a special guest writer for a good chunk of it.


Question #8 - Monkeywrench asks:
What’s the status on Beard Force? Do they have any adventures lined up? Will they be a continued ongoing arc? Is there a new recruit coming? Perhaps Outback?

1337W422102:
As far as we know, Beard Force is still active. We haven't heard about them since their last "scouting operation" and Clutch's mission to retrieve the missing "intel" in two-part "Cards, Knives, & Videotape" story.

I recently got the Vehicle Pack with Outback, so he COULD join the team - if he wanted to! File #32 explains that "[w]hen offered a Beard Force membership, Outback commented, 'you gotta be f&*@ing shitting me,' and flat-out refused." But then again, in File #49, we learn from Hawk just how wimpy Outback seems to have become. Maybe being indefinitely assigned to a team as testosterone-fuelled as Beard Force is just what ol' Stuart needs!


Well, that's it for another Q & Ages. Thanks to everyone who asked questions, and to all of you for reading. New comic goes up Saturday! See you then.

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

REVIEW - Steel Crusher A.P.V.

Though the Rise of Cobra vehicles are overpriced, one of the more popular ones seems to be the Steel Crusher A.P.V. [Armour Plated Vehicle], nicknamed the "Cobra Party Van" on the internet. The Crusher is a modified civilian Hummer and is featured in a frantic chase scene in the movie.

I don't like the civilian Hummer. The 'bling'-ed out truck seems to defeat the purpose of the Hummer in the first place - a tough, rugged truck for military use and other odd jobs. To me, this excessive oversized penis-extension seems more appropriate for a rap video than for an international terrorist organization.

After the Cobraz With Attitude [C.W.A.] broke up, the Resolute Trooper took his recording career solo.
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I understand that the Steel Crusher can drive around incognito unlike most other Joe and Cobra ground vehicles, but I would have preferred a generic truck over the civilian Hummer. But that's just me.

The all new 2009 Steel Crusher A.P.V. Parisian model shown. Some features not standard on all models.
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The truck is large, there's no doubt about that. It's as wide as the box is tall, and as tall as the box is wide. It's on its side inside the box, fully assembled. It has rubber tires, metal axles, and a detailed undercarriage. There's almost enough clearance down there for a figure: Snake-Eyes, Indiana Jones, or otherwise. You'll also notice that the body is held together by six screws underneath the truck instead of plastic tabs. Sure, the truck costs more than a 25th HISS Tank, even on sale, but it's much more sturdy, and bigger, too!

Crush THIS under your treads!
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The truck is assembled in the box. You just need to apply the stickers, which is tricky as the instructions are printed in grayscale and the labels aren't numbered. I was very confused as to which caution lines went where - thick yellow ones? Thin yellow ones? White ones? I guess you can put the stickers you like where you want them! The instructions want you to apply the small Cobra sigil over the rear window for some reason, but you should just stick it to the license plate area.

Cobra - Evil comes standard.
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The labels are complete throwbacks to the '80s toys with warnings such as "Keep Vent Clear," and "Step" indicators. Even with the stickers on, the truck still looks awfully plain. It is mostly black with some silver for details like the rims, front grill, gas cap, roof gear, and red for lights. The round lights on the front bumper and on the roof gear are unpainted, and there is no paint on the interior or the mirrors. The door handles aren't painted either: colours do indeed vary from the back of the box!

Dig the horizontal gearshift - like something out of a boat or a plane.
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The interior has details like a horizontal gearshift and instrument panel. It can seat two figures which you can put in via the opening doors or the hole in the roof.

Access hole in the roof makes it easy to load figures in - or have them stand up and unload.
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Thing is, the back of the truck is completely dedicated to gimmickry, so you can't seat any other figures in it. The rear doors don't open, and neither does the trunk area. I would have preferred seating area for 4 figures instead of lame gimmicks, but there are a lot of foot pegs to make up for the lack of seating.

Here's a rundown of the features:

The Iron Plow in the front of the truck can be removed.

That name again is Mr. Plow!
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Without it, the Crusher can be in undercover/hiding in plain sight mode.

Don't mind me, I'm just wasting fuel and pollutin'.
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The non-opening doors have flip-down panels which reveal small red CLAW missiles. Sucks for the guy standing on the foot pegs on that running board!

Say hello to my leetle friend!
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The roof gear slides forward, revealing a rear gun. There's flip-down armour plating that covers the windshield and looks like something off a Dreadnok vehicle.

Who's up for chocolate doughnuts and grape soda?
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When the armour and rear turret are deployed, the roof gear gives the driver a non-opening roof hatch, and the gap for the passenger to stand up and shoot out of gets a handlebar and some kind of port, I'm guessing for a missile launcher.

The roof hole makes it easy for passengers to make themselves useful.
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And speaking of missile launchers, the rear turret can rotate 360 degrees and there's storage for the 3 missiles right in the truck. There is room near the gun for more troopers to ride. The gun doesn't shoot the missiles very far, and it can only rotate. It can't elevate. The spring which deploys the gun from the bottom of the truck doesn't feel that strong, and the launcher wobbles around a lot.

"Fire at will!" "Who's Will?"
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On the topic of figures, the Steel Crusher comes with a "Nitro-Viper," a modern take on the Motor Viper, the old Driver of the STUN, that strange three-wheeler. As per Rise of Cobra standards, the Nitro-Viper has no stand nor weapon, despite his ID card mentioning his favourite rifle.

He is main colour is a dark blue, like the Motor Viper. His boots, gloves, and vest are a lighter shade of blue, though nowhere near as baby-blue as the Motor Viper's arms and legs. He has a large clear visor to protect his face.

With no gear, no stand, and the only major paint app being his face, a lot of collectors were upset that this guy is a half-assed homage to the Motor Viper rather than a full-fledged 25th update of that character. To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised he looks as much like the Motor Viper as he does. I'm glad they didn't just take Firefly's head, Snow Job's body, Cobra Trooper legs, and Resolute Duke arms, colour the whole thing black and call it "Generi-Viper." They made the Nitro-Viper a new head and vest, after all.

Now I'm no fan of the original Motor Viper: I find he's an ugly-looking figure driving a bizarre vehicle, but when his colours are toned down [no damn baby-blue!] and he ditches those shoulder pads for HISS Tank driver arms, he looks much better. And hey, at least he doesn't look like the one on the back of the Steel Crusher's box! If you put the Nitro-Viper's vest and head on a Resolute Trooper, you can make a good-looking Motor Viper, too.

I've painted my Nitro-Viper to look more like the Motor Viper and gave him an SMG, so keep in mind that he does not look like this out of the box.

Figure comes ready to paint!
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There's only seating for two figures, but the truck can hold much more: there are 2 foot pegs on each running board, 2 on the roof, and space for figures when the truck's in attack mode. In theory, you could carry 10 figures on this truck. That's a lot of Cobras!

All aboard the Cobra Party Van!
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If the truck was a bit longer, even a half-inch more, they could have added another row of seating. There really should be a few more paint apps on the truck and the driver, too. I can't help but feel that the Crusher is somewhat ambiguous. It's expensive, but underwhelming. It has a few gimmicks, but none of them are really that cool. It's a big truck, but can't hold many figures inside it. The fun comes from its size, its bulk, and its aggressive appearance. Those big rubber tires can climb over anything, and that Iron Plow well get stuff out of the way, fast!

The Steel Crusher A.P.V. is an overpriced Hummer which only has 2 opening doors due to gimmickry, and its driver is pretty much unpainted. But loaded up with Cobras and rolling out in its battle mode, it's still an enjoyable toy. I would have loved this as a kid. The Joes better beware the wrath of the Cobra Party Van! Who knows, maybe we'll see a new G.I. Joe Hammer vehicle to counter this bad boy - and let's hope it can seat more than 2 figures!

"We're gonna need a bigger VAMP!"
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SUMMARY:
G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra Steel Crusher A.P.V.

INCLUDES:
  • Nitro-Viper
  • removable Iron Plow
  • 3 missiles
  • 2 small CLAW missiles
  • stickers and instructions
PROS:
  • large bulky vehicle [when compared to 25th Anniversary ground vehicles]
  • rubber tires, metal axles
  • sturdy construction
  • nice interior
  • fun battle mode
  • storage for missiles
  • foot pegs for many figures
CONS:
  • expensive, even when on sale
  • can only fit 2 figures inside
  • lackluster paint on truck, lack of paint on driver
  • weapons not very intimidating
  • trades gimmicks [missiles] for functionality [rear seating]
  • is just a civilian Hummer with a few gadgets
RATING:
3.5 ON 5
"SORT OF WANT"

Saturday, August 8, 2009

COMIC - File #51: "Movie Madness"

Sorry about the lateness this week. I hope you'll find it was worth the wait.
If you don't get a reference, check out this issue's Archive entry. Enjoy!

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